Happy Holidays?

Well, this can be an alien concept, when so much of the time we spend wishing for a magical time of year, yet in reality we end up being triggered, a little disappointed, if not overworked and then somewhat under appreciated – sound familiar?

Christmas time and even New Years are prime examples of how imprints of our perceived and entrenched beliefs about this time of year dictate our expectations and what the holidays represent for us each. For me, I grew up dreaming of a white Christmas, a roaring fire, the smell of a freshly cut tree, the sparkle of lights and lots of laughs, traditions and merriment. It was a perfect image I had of happiness and love, a day filled with friends, family, lots of engaging conversation, magic and Christmas movies. Most of the time I actually got a lot of this, but in reality there were other aspects that came with it. Cooking, cleaning, serving, misunderstandings, obligations, and exhaustion for me and others.

My image of Christmas was distorted from movies and my imagination of what I believed Christmas should be, a time when everyone puts aside their differences and lived harmoniously. But in reality who can honestly do that? The pressure we put on ourselves, and more over others, to be able to achieve this is inaccurate and perhaps impossible.

Why should one day be any different than any other? We can decide to put aside all differences, obligations and our expectations of ourselves and others any time when we actually choose to follow through on that singular thought process and intention. It won’t happen automatically, it will take time, but it can be done. And maybe that’s what this time of year actually reminds us of? Our abilities to adapt and change, the holiday season gives us the gift of time, and reflection to be able to make the change and be surrounded by others who are also journeying in the same direction, therefore there’s a greater level of compassion and empathy.

Christmas and the holiday season for me now is more of a stark reminder of the choices I make to be the person I want to be and how if I choose I can temper my behaviours, thought processes and reactions. Even in the time of the most overwhelming emotional world state, which for an empath can be extremely heightened.

So, at this time of year I invite you to get reflective and lower the expectations, by beginning with a light reflection. You can check in on the following to start to support you towards this change of view:

1. What has your year been filled with, how you have found the majority of your time has been spent? (thinking, feeling & doing)
2. Have you felt fulfilled and purposeful? When was this?
3. What feels important for you to acknowledge and address in order to make amends, improve going forwards or be more receptive to in the future? (take each situation in turn to respond, as it comes to mind)
4. And what do you want Christmas and this holiday season to be a trigger for? Reflection, family time, relaxation, relationships?
5. What has occurred in this festive season that has enabled you to be more of who you want to be usually (if at all), and how can you invite more of that into your life?

I know that reflecting on the space I’m in, the life I want to live and the legacy I want to leave behind has made me appreciate this time of year in a unique way. I hope that these questions and a little of my perspective will give you pause for a deeper enquiry, to get out of the expectations of Christmas and more into a new way of feeling and being – your way.

Here’s to an enlightening, and happy holiday!